My oldest daughter Kiera is 5 years old and she is truly a delight to be around...most of the time ;) ... Yes she has her moments for sure, makes bad choices, has bad attitudes, and disobeys our instructions sometimes, but the majority of the time she has such a great heart for people, has a good attitude, listens to us, wants to include others, wants to be every one's friend, prays for people who say they are sick, and is quick to pray when she sees an accident or an ambulance.
Her heart is so ready to love people that sometimes I want to warn her that not everyone will be her friend and not everyone is "friend material", but she does not seem to "grasp" that concept regardless of how many times I explain this to her. As an example there was this little girl; let's call her Suzy; in her first pre-school that always seemed to be mean to Kiera, unkind, and exclusive for no apparent reason. Kiera would come home from pre-school crying and saying "I don't know why Suzy doesn't like me or want to play with me, I just want to be her friend". We would ask some probing questions like, "what happened?" and "why do you feel that way?" and she would go on to explain that Suzy would say things to her like, "You can't play with me", "I am not your friend", "your glasses are funny", you can't be friends with them, they are my friends", etc....well needless to say Daddy had to refrain himself from going and crushing Suzy or telling Kiera "your bigger than her, push her down!" instead we tried to not spare Kiera from this experience of dealing with unkind people and tried to counsel her through it by explaining not everyone is kind, some people are mean, not everyone is "friend material", the importance of standing up for herself, and using her words to say "no thank you" when someone is unkind. We also explained it is OK to "escalate the situation" by saying "I said no thank you and if you do it again I am going to tell the teacher", and finally that it was OK to ask for help from a teacher. She ended up dealing with the situation the best she could as a 5 year old and I am very proud of her heart through it all... but let's just say Suzy never became her friend...but I am SOO glad to see that Kiera still extends herself to others, still wants to include others in her life, and still wants to be every one's friend!
Kiera is such an example to me on how to love people, include them, invite them into my life, love them unconditionally, be quick to forgive, and be quick to pray. I have felt so convicted that I have conformed to the "not everyone is friend material" philosophy because I have been wounded through various levels of rejection and hurt in my own life. I have felt the pain of not being liked, not being included, and not being befriended enough... that I have hardened my heart in self protection from those potentially hurtful situations. I extend myself less to others, avoid those who give me the "your not someone I like vibe", and therefore end up not befriending others I should because of fear.
"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other." John 15:9-17 (NIV)
Jesus was a "people-person", He befriended the alienated, He loved the sinner but hated the sin, He treated people as individuals of great worth, He looks at us and sees what we can become... not what we are, He holds out his hand and says, "Come, accept my friendship and be my friends." ...and he wants us to do the same to others!
Gotta love learning those life lessons from a 5 year old :)
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